My alma mater in dentistry will be celebrating its 80th anniversary in the coming November. I got an invitation from the school journal editor asking me to write something about why I quit dentistry and how the new profession after that has been doing. So this is what I gave her. ========================================= Dentistry had never appeared on my list of dream jobs when I was young. Yet I bumped into it and became one of them by acting impetuously before thinking it through.
Twenty-two years later, at a stop called "Confront yourself," I jumped off of the one-way vehicle that requires sticking my fingers into people's mouths over and over again. Hearing the inner voices with great clearness, I started pursuing my dream regardless of all the "whats" and the impact on people around me. "People change primarily for two reasons. Either they learn enough that they want to, or they have been hurt enough that they have to." It all started with taking more effort than usual to maintain the same high dental practice quality due to slightly blurred vision and gently shaken hands. Next, the stiffness and soreness in the neck, shoulder, and back troubled me more often, with less and slower relief over time. Soon it was followed by the fact that nothing I did during holidays could refresh me and wake me up so excited about what I do in the morning. Finally, I knew I was doomed when, day after day in years, I would give up on any fortune and run away from dentistry with no return. I spent 22 years in dentistry, full mouth rehabilitation, and esthetic dentistry, to be specific. It wasn't because I was passionate about it, nor because I did it better than others. I put up with it simply because transforming that rock-hard and ugly-looking small universe gave me nothing more than being a skillful technician and paying the bills. Another fact is I am nobody and know nothing if I discard the title. "Do what you love, and love what you do" has never been done in my first half of life, and it never will if lives go on the same way. The yearning for the outside world went viral as the dental office got busier. I couldn't help but step out of reality repeatedly to have a sense of gentle touch on my heart and soul by the spring breeze. As a result, giving lectures, learning acupuncture, practicing PONAMS, holding seminars, and participating in exhibitions became my way of escaping from the cage I created for myself. It soothed the inner unrest and calmed me down to breathe and act like an average person again. In the last few years of dental practice, I wondered what can be brought up with Western medicine background, PONAMS, and English? What life direction will it lead me to if I put all three together? It was until the answer had stopped swinging and reached the same conclusion each time that I began transferring patients, laying off staff, and shutting the office down for good. Two months later, at 48, I sat in a TCM school classroom in the State of Texas, having my life reset and starting over from scratch. Going for Chinese medicine is to continue acupuncture practice and to complete me. It is the determination to throw dentistry into the trash and never pick it back up. It is the understanding of the necessity of self-care and not burdening others as I grow old. Plus, I have seen many coworkers who terminated their careers for health problems, got ill, or were even killed by sickness after decades of over-stressing. Living in an era with younger generations being less accountable and reliable made me an even firmer believer that my own hands are the best place to rest my life with. Studying Chinese medicine in the US was because I wanted to take advantage of my acupuncture and English background to get licensed quicker and continue as an international speaker. Engaging in intractable disorder management was to differentiate my specialty from general acupuncture practice. After years of dealing with intractable pain and diseases, I have to say that you should be content and appreciative if no pain isn't a blessing in your life. "Being in so much pain that you wish you were dead." is the utmost kind of situation that you would never understand without going through it. The King of Pain — CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, formerly known as RSD, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) is the best example (Fig. 3) Suppose an unbearable, excruciating toothache that keeps you awake at night and prevents you from doing anything is rated as 19 out of 50. What would lives be like when RSD/CRPS is rated as 46? Such a demon, only heard in PONAMS class in Taiwan, somehow popped up one after another in the US.
"Imagine replacing all your blood with gas and light a match. Imagine putting your hands on a burning stove without pulling back. Imagine you are being struck by non-stop lightenings all over your body, sometimes different types of pain mixed 24/7." One patient said. The opioid painkiller can only reduce the pain for 20 minutes or so; that is just enough for you to catch up with your breaths and take a short nap before it flares up. The ER doctors had no clue what to do. Some doctors even suspected that you are substance-addicted and called the cop on you because you look just as normal as anyone, and the only reason you show up in the ER is to con them to get drugs. You will lose your job, have no income, can't sleep most of the time, and don't know how to self-care. Putting on or taking off clothes and a small piece of tissue or bread that touches your skin may trigger the pain. Agitated, anxious, loss of temper, extreme depression, and frustration will be your new routine. You will miss all the treasurable moments of your kids as they grow up, and your spouse could leave you for the life you put them in. A bullet in your head becomes the only way out of this vicious cycle. An RSDer once told me that after being asked and checked on the intake form by all the pain management doctors, the only and most appropriate question we should ask is, "What haven't you lost because of the pain?" Other painful disorders, such as CIPN (chemotherapy-induced peripheral neuropathy), terminal cancer pain, all forms of neuralgias, and numbness (e.g., diabetic-induced peripheral neuropathy), are part of the playground in my second half of life. Aside from pain, internal diseases like post-stroke effects, infertility, immune modulation (Click here), and white blood cell (WBC) production and maturation are all under intractable disorders.
After learning, using, and teaching PONAMS for 15 years, its magic still impresses me quite often. One of its most remarkable features is that you will see therapeutic results after converting the diagnostic-reaching process into treatment, even for medical conditions that have never been treated before. The following are a few examples: Case 1:
A right-brain stroke patient who lost his left peripheral vision for six years. He was the first post-stroke effect case referred to me in the US. After the first session, the black visual field turned grayish with visible light and shadow in it. Twenty-four hours later, he regained 15 degrees of peripheral vision. After three months, the lost vision was restored to 20/20, and he reclaimed his driver's license.
Case 2:
A lady who was, again, the first infertility case came in for help. She has been treated with various therapies for three years without good news. Then, by applying PONAMS needling and formulas, she got pregnant three months later. Her baby boy is now seven months old. Case 3:
A high recurrence rate triple-negative breast cancer (TNBC) victim. Conventional chemo is the only therapeutic option for this type of breast cancer. Like most chemotherapies, lack of appetite, nausea & vomiting, weight loss, and a WBC count drop to a life-threatening level are well-known and familiar side effects of chemo drugs.
With PONAMS, all the adverse effects, including raising the WBC count rapidly to complete chemotherapy as scheduled, were successfully managed. She kept using PONAMS formulas to balance her immunity and has been cancer-free for four years. Case 4: When I got the invite from the editor, a persistent vegetative state (PVS) patient awakened after 30 days of PONAMS. However, before she turns well, there is no room for being optimistic and relaxing all treatment methods. The power and credits of PONAMS, like Cary in her journey of cancer management ("Cary of the Blue River"), can be approved only by patients themselves.
Many asked me if making a dramatic career change as a mid-aged man was it worth it. So what's the cost paid? They were right. There was a cost that came with such a change. I had to devote multiple times of efforts, energy, and time to reach the same reading level and cram them into my brain. Being an international student at my age with more life experiences did not grant me any privileges of being free from the struggle and pain that almost everyone must endure. In order to be licensed quicker, stomach bleeding and tarry stool were the prices paid for passing all acupuncture board exams in 20 months and finishing a 40-month master's program within thirty. Yes, I was legit to practice acupuncture in the US before graduation. Was it a good deal? Look around us. How many do we see betting on their health in exchange for wealth and career? My dental thesis supervisor and mentor, who impacted how I practice medicine the most, were still teaching and practicing as being treated for cancer. To me, dying for what you really passionate about has never been a problem. However, I have gotten confused amid lost routes, not knowing what I fought for, and even worse, with the family involved. This is something I know for sure that I do not want to end up with. I wasn't stuck because I couldn't; I was stuck because I wouldn't. So, the question isn't about a good or bad deal anymore. It's about whether I am willing to pay the price. And what cost do I have to pay for making my life different? in the end, doesn't make me a loser. However, being so afraid of not winning that not trying makes me a real one. Being a doctor and practicing medicine doesn't make us any noble. There it lies a flesh with the same emotion, desire, and sickness as anyone else under the white coat. Yet, behind the fancy title, it hides a life full of laughter and tears with stories that others may not know. I genuinely believe that there were alumni who got on the vehicle decades ago, just like me, yet did not get off it for some reason. As the day goes by, they forget where they are from and where they are going and end up giving in to what they are. I respect and admire those who have never left dentistry and dedicated their lives to it. The fame of dentistry at our school could have been nothing at all without them. But, if you are like me, capable of being loyal to the job but not loving it, what more can you expect from it? What can we offer to patients who trust us so much? When I first met PONAMS, I viewed it as an excellent new technique that eliminates pain that most practitioners seemed to be baffled at. Until I started teaching it, I realized it is genuinely a medical system full of potential and possibilities. Western medicine became the worldwide mainstream in just a few hundred years based on science and evidence-based reproducibility. Imagine how much more can a new medicine do as it corrects the critical fundamentals of acupuncture, preserves conventional medicine's strengths, and mixes two major systems into one. The picture isn't only for those who suffer from intractable diseases but also the fascinating scene that drives me to explore, innovate, and teach. From 2007 to 2016, PONAMS hosted introductory, basic, and intermediate classes in many cities, including Los Angeles and San Francisco, CA, Detroit, MI, Austin, TX, and Chicago, IL. I put teaching on pause for the doctorate program I went for between 2016 and 2019. The in-person class in 2020 was canceled due to the COVID pandemic. The entire program is now undergoing revision to go online by the end of 2022. The on-site course will be conducted only for point locations, live hands-on and case demonstrations, and countries/areas without COVID-19 concerns. The critical information associated with intractable disorder management has never been taught in the original advanced class I took. The new advanced PONAMS seminars will include and discuss all the contents. These include the correction and innovation of theory, PONAMS-based formulas (decoction, powder, capsule, and tincture), modulation of the autonomic nervous system and immune systems, and its effects on adult stem cell (ASCs) differentiation. PONAMS is accessible to those with medical-related backgrounds. Chinese medicine concepts are not required since you will acquire them as the courses move on. With tell-show-do that lights up the way, the learning process becomes quicker and more efficient. After years of exploring, modification, and clinical verification, the PONAMS isn't what it used to be anymore. Instead, it is a unique medical system integrating Chinese and Western medicine and advancing intractable disorder management beyond current boundaries. By confronting myself and daring to escape from dentistry, I found in PONAMS a clear blue sky with beautiful sunshine and the second half of life of no regrets.
Comments